Destination ME

This post has been a long time coming.

First off, some background - I stole the title and the first sentence of this post from one of my favorite new (to me) blogs, The Princess and the Pump: A Type 1 Diabetes Blog. I can't remember exactly when or how I found the P and the P blog, but I'm almost sure it was late at night while I was trolling the 'net for information on Type 1 diabetes. The author, Hallie, is a wife, teacher and mother to a darling T1D girl. In her blog, Hallie chronicles the challenges they endure and triumphs they achieve with their T1D child. It is a wonderful resource for parents of diabetic children. 

Hallie's daughter is elementary-school age and was diagnosed at age 3. My T1D daughter is a freshman in high school and was diagnosed at age 12. The circumstances that Hallie and I deal with are probably very different, but still very much the same. Her daughter, being so young, is still dependent on her parents for her diabetic care. My daughter is fairly independent with her diabetes care, but that doesn't mean I'm not there questioning when she last tested her blood sugar and did she do a correction for a high number, etc. With all that goes on with having a T1D child, it's easy to lose yourself in it. Hallie's most recent blog post, Destination ME, is about how she is going to find her way back to herself. She will have a weekly post about her current goal, and she invited her followers to join her. When I saw that, I thought, "Count me in!" It was just what I needed. It was just what I'd been thinking. It is so easy to get caught up in our children and lose sight of ourselves. And having a child with diabetes - or any other challenging illness or circumstance - compounds that. 

Hallie's goal this week is to get more sleep. As much as I'd like to be original, I'm going to make that my goal, too. Sleep is where it all starts. 

I don't check my daughter's blood sugar in the middle of the night like we did when she was first diagnosed, so I shouldn't be as sleep deprived as I am. My sleep deprivation is mostly self inflicted. I find I can't go to sleep until after I know all of my kids are sleeping. If my T1D daughter has had a high or a low right before bed, of course I'm up with her until we get her numbers in check. But even when everything is going well, I tend to stay up until I know everyone is asleep. With two teenagers, this can be pretty late. 

Sleep is also important for me right now as I'm getting over this awful bout of pneumonia. I've been struggling with it since the end of July, and I'm finally feeling pretty good. So at the moment, exercise is out of the question. Getting more sleep would be the best thing I could do for myself. 

As I embark on this Destination ME journey, I know it's not just for me. If I can get to where I feel like myself again, my family will benefit, too. And my T1D daughter, a teenager, needs good examples healthy living. She doesn't need a grouchy mom with dark circles under her eyes. 

This goal won't be easy. It's years of a bad habit I need to break, but now is the time.

I'm going to say I'd like to be asleep every night by 11pm. That didn't happen last night, even after reading Hallie's post. But tonight I will stick to it. 

** I know I've been absent from my blog for months. I will definitely be back here more often, starting with Murrini Mondays (I have some awesome Halloween murrini to show off!). Then I'll post my new Destination ME goals on Wednesdays. I like the idea of putting a new weekly goal right in the middle of the week - it will change things up for sure. I probably won't post every day because that's when I get overwhelmed and just stop completely. But I'll take baby steps with my blog as I will with my new goals, so please check back!

Life Changer

This is a bracelet Annie received from a family friend. It's from Rachel's Cure by Design, which features jewelry designed by a teen-ager with diabetes. Portions of the proceeds go to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund.

I wasn't sure if I should write about this or not, but I think there are more reasons to talk about it than to keep it private. On January 3, our middle child, Annie, was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, also called Type 1. In that instant, our lives changed forever. I had taken Annie out of school to have her tested because she had a couple of the symptoms that we were aware of (we have a niece with juvenile diabetes, and we also had had a diabetic cat). So when Annie was extremely thirsty to the point of being miserable and was also losing a bunch of weight, we knew something wasn't right. A quick test at the doctor's office confirmed our fears, and we went straight to the hospital so they could regulate Annie's blood sugar and begin to teach us how to care for her. To say it was overwhelming would be an understatement. The first full day there we met with an endocrinologist, a counselor, a nutritionist, a physical therapist, and of course, several wonderful nurses on staff. We learned about counting carbohydrates, monitoring blood glucose with finger pricks and insulin dosing. My husband and I were familiar with giving insulin shots because we had administered them to our cat for years. But there's a big difference between putting that needle in the scruff of a cat's neck and putting it into your daughter's belly. But we learned, and we did it. Despite having a niece who was diagnosed with diabetes at age 3, we didn't know nearly enough about the disease. We knew her parents did a lot of figuring before meals and they talked about a lot of numbers, but we didn't know exactly what it all meant. And more than that, we didn't realize what they must have gone through in the beginning, when their lives all changed. We are so lucky to have our niece (who is in college now) and her parents as wonderful resources while we keep learning to care for Annie. Their knowledge and support has been invaluable.

Since being diagnosed, Annie has returned to middle school. When she feels shaky, she heads for the nurse's office to check her blood sugar. She's still learning about her symptoms, but she is sure to check every time she doesn't feel quite right. For the first couple of weeks back at school, I would come in at lunch to make sure she was doing all right and to be there if she needed help with her shots. Now I include a note in her lunch with the amount of carbohydrates in it and the insulin dose. Annie pricks her own fingers now to check her blood glucose levels, and she gives herself the insulin injections, too. We're super proud of her.

My husband and I do blood glucose checks at midnight and 3am (another thing I didn't realize my sister-in-law and brother-in-law were doing back when their daughter was diagnosed). Annie usually sleeps through them, which is good. Something else I didn't fully understand before Annie's diagnosis is that kids with juvenile diabetes can eat what they were eating before they were diagnosed. They just have to account for it with proper insulin dosing. That's not to say that they should eat a bunch of junk and sweets, but those things are allowed.

So on our last day at the hospital, Annie decided to celebrate with the brownie supreme. You deserved it, girl.

I will probably have posts about Annie on here from time to time. I've learned that most people know someone or are related to someone with diabetes. I've also learned that one of my good glassy friends is a diabetic and another has a son with diabetes. Everyone is so helpful and supportive, and eventually I hope to be able to pay it forward to anyone dealing with a new diagnosis. So maybe a few posts about Annie here and there will be helpful to someone. :)

**********************************************************************************

Because of this major change in our lives, I've been cutting down on custom orders. I have a few that are still on my list and a couple I have promised and I will definitely do. But lately my free time has been hard to pin down, so because I can't guarantee anything by a certain date, I've had to cut back. I will still be listing new beads in my Etsy shop.